On the eve of the Chinese New Year, families everywhere reunite for a grand reunion dinner – a tradition that has gone on since the olden days.
THERE is a popular quotation that I like very much and it goes like this: “A family reunion is a time to remember, a time to laugh, a time to celebrate, a time to share old stories and make new memories.
“A time to see each other in the faces all around us, and find reflections of ourselves in hearts both young and old.
“A reunion is a coming together that strengthens the bond of family and reminds us of the gift of belonging. A chance to share our history; a reason to celebrate our past; a time to welcome our future…as a family.”
For Chinese worldwide, the family reunion dinner and the ancestor worship (for the non-Christians) are the two most important highlights of the celebrations on the eve of the Lunar New Year.
Usually before the dinner, Buddhist families would worship their ancestors and ‘invite’ them to join in the celebrations with offerings of food, fruits, drinks and flowers.
Family members are expected to return to the main home of the patriarch of the family for a grand reunion dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year.
Food is served in abundance and no expense is spared to ensure that everyone is well fed. This is an essential part of the event to ensure that greater material wealth would accrue to the family in the coming year.
Especially important for those doing business, it’s also essential that all outstanding debts are fully settled as it is considered shameful for one to start a new year with unpaid debts.
Also, after closing the accounts for the year, traditional Chinese businesses would take the opportunity to hand out bonuses to their employees depending on the profits during the year just ended.
Some traditional old habits that have been practised in Malaysia and Singapore include the New Year’s Eve vigil of children being encouraged to stay awake past midnight to send off the old year with a bang (by firing off firecrackers and fireworks); thus chasing out the old and welcoming the new.
Some devotees would pray and offer joss sticks at the temples to welcome the ‘God of Wealth’; many would consult the fortune sticks/tablets for the coming year’s horoscopes.
At home and in business establishments, all the lights would be switched on and all cleaning works would have ceased till after the second day.
During normal times, from the first day onwards, there would be house visits and children would pay their respects to their parents and elders and in return, receive their blessings.
The angpows (red packets) and Mandarin oranges would be given out.
There would be 15 days of visiting between family members, friends and work colleagues.
However in recent years, this has somewhat slowed down and the number of people having open-houses for visitors has drastically reduced over time – many have chosen to either go on holiday abroad, or simply not hold them.
On the 15th day, during Chap Goh Mei, which marks the first full moon of the Chinese New Year, another reunion dinner is held, which also officially ends the Chinese New Year celebrations for yet another year.
In the old days, certain traditional businesses would only resume normal working hours after this day; in modern times, the majority of businesses would resume after the fourth day. A handful of essential businesses would have continued with other non-Chinese employees working normal hours.
Over the years, almost all families would slowly have drifted apart as their members would relocate due to employment, working opportunities and business ventures; due to further studies for the young and scholarly; due to marriages and breakups; as well as due to bereavements and deaths in the families, and a hundred other reasons.
In one of WB Yeats’ poems ‘The Second Coming’, there is this quote:
“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
“Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.”
Families, as well, do go the way of the world, but like the branches of a tree, our lives may grow in many different directions, yet our roots remain as one forever.
So it is with families, for the majority of us, having formed our bond of love, trust and belonging since the day we were born, most of us will always have that primal and vital urge to continue to satisfy that special bond of being part of a larger extended family.
Very few would voluntarily or could easily loosen their links knowingly, or take an even more extremist act to disassociate, disown or sever relationship with their own family.
Yet, that tragically has happened in some cases. These cases of family disputes, disunity, disagreement and discord are almost always due to parental favouritism, monetary settlements and apportionments, religion, or on the healthcare and treatment of an ailing elder. Sad to say more often than not, such discord could be caused by misunderstanding, harsh words uttered during confrontations in the past, interference from ‘outsiders’ or bad blood among siblings since the young days due to parental favouritism or perception thereof.
Many of us being observers of so many family disputes and legal wrangles (some even aired over the public media, or under selective and subjective local insider gossip) have been aware of many such cases of disenchantment among siblings and family members. Some ended or were resolved through lengthy court cases and had attracted extensive press reports.
Under our breath, we’d say to ourselves: ‘Money is the root of all evil’.
Then again, we know that life is not that simple. Sure, money may be the reason for the legal suits, but there are deeper and more complicated symptoms to the ‘ailment’ that only the disputing parties are privy to.
We cannot be too judgemental knowing and reading only what we see on the surface.
These past two years after Covid-19 hit us badly on March 2020, have meant that we’ve not been able to come together as the extended big families that we have been used to all these years in order to truly celebrate our grand family reunions at our various New Year’s Eve gatherings and dinners throughout the land.
I hope and pray that by this time in 2023, the world would be back to normal once again in order that we can and will be able to come together once again – as one united family.
I’d like to leave you with a few quotes from the Good Book, the Bible, which affects how families should live their lives – together, united, in peace with love and caring towards one another. God Bless you all.
‘If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion – how can God’s love be in that person?’ (1 John 3:17)
‘Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.’ (James 4:17)
‘How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying his commands. Their children will be successful everywhere; an entire generation of godly people will be blessed.’ (Psalm 112. 1, 2)
‘Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.’ (Ephesians 4:2)
‘Honour your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’ (Exodus 20:12)
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